Diagnosis Part 2

I did get my blood test results and surprise surprise, EVERY SINGLE THING WAS NORMAL.  Even my thyroid levels were normal.  I’ve had an under-active thyroid for most of my life.  Why am I always freezing?  Why can’t I concentrate?  Why am I always hungry?  Why do I have such trouble urinating?  I have no fucking clue because apparently I’m not really sick.

I was supposed to look for a psychiatrist to help me deal with this, but since everything is normal and within range, I don’t see the point.  Clearly my body is able to deal with a lack of nutrition and I would be wasting everyone’s time if I went for treatment.  See, I knew I was faking this.  Now I have proof.  I honestly don’t think the doctor even believed me.  I mean, what sort of sorcery is involved in losing 165 pounds in 12 months?  I doubt a psychiatrist would believe me and I’m not about to receive treatment for an illness I don’t have.  Maybe, someday, when I’m finally underweight and maybe actually in need.  Until then, I’ll be here, fasting and restricting.  Desperately trying to lose the fat that envelopes my potato-like body.


4 comments on “Diagnosis Part 2

  1. It’s extremely common to have normal blood tests when you’re very sick. I had normal blood tests for two years until one day BAM my blood tests showed something very serious. It has happened to friends of mine too. Don’t wait until it’s an emergency.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I honestly wish I could just get sick enough for someone else to notice and say “wait, this isn’t right” but even my best friend, who I’ve told, doesn’t really believe me. I couldn’t figure out why she never checked on me or asked if I was okay and then one day it dawned on me, she doesn’t believe I have a problem. So if no one else is worried about me, why should I worry about myself. It’s not like I matter to anyone. No one would even care if I disappeared one day.

      I do hope you are doing well. This is not a normal way to live, take care of yourself, please.


      • I understand. First of all, just in general, don’t tell me or anyone to take care of myself after saying basically you can’t take care of yourself. Second, it’s your choice and I don’t have an argument because I felt the same exact way. I just wish you the best.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have struggled so many times with the “I’m not sick enough” mentality, and with people who didn’t believe me, or worse, suggested I “just eat” or “drink a milkshake” when I confessed I thought I had anorexia. Can totally relate.

        Liked by 1 person

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