It won’t stop

I’m wearing three sweatshirts right now and still shivering. My stop is hurting so bad I’m actually on the verge of tears. I want to throw up and keep gagging except I haven’t eaten anything today so nothing can come up. I’m out of weed and haven’t slept. All strung together, I think I managed about an hour to an hour and a half last night. Followed by an eight hour shift where I plastered on my happy face and tried not to throw up or pass out, hiding my stomach pains all day. Now I’m just sitting here shivering and feeling sick, nauseated and light headed when I stand. I am terribly pale and weak. I’m so hungry but nothing even sounds appetizing anymore. I thought about making some vegetable broth but even the 20 calories it will contain made me put the package back in the cupboard and grab a diet soda instead. How the fuck am I going to make it through another 9 hour shift tomorrow?  Same way I always do, put on an act. People only see things at the surface, no one ever looks close enough to see what you’re hiding. 


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