I had an off day today. I’m still fasting and TBH, I’m not even hungry anymore. But last night, I sat down in my bed, typed my little entry and then proceeded to fall asleep before drinking, smoking, or turning on any music. So today, I was late for work, lost track of time at work, and was just generally lost. Not to mention I don’t feel well. I still have intense nausea that rides in waves. I also have a swollen gland in my neck and the glands in my groin hurt from time to time. I have dealt with swollen glands all my life. I get sick and it settles there, often leaving me in pain. About a week ago, my neck was sore and turning my head pulled that spot, making it hurt. It’s no longer sore, but remains swollen.
The last time I had one swell like this, I went through 4 rounds of antibiotics and a sample was drawn to determine if it was cancerous. Nothing was found, but it was removed anyway. The surgery was actually exciting because I was able to remain awake during the procedure. The removed gland looked like a wad of chewing gum. I’m reluctant to see a doctor about this one, because I can’t afford surgery or medications. And time off from work is not likely.
When I got home from work today, my roommate was complaining about starving. She just kept saying that word over and over while she cooked herself 2 giant hamburgers. All I could think was “yeah, no, you are in no way starving.” It infuriates me when ppl say that. I want to cry when customers to the bakery bitch about how fat they are getting or how they need to go on a diet. I want to look at them and say “why the fuck did you walk into a pastry shop you fucking moron!” I refrain, of course. I swear people have no thoughts before opening their mouth. They just spew garbage into the air and couldn’t care less if someone is hurt or offended.
On an unrelated note, it is freezing here. Under a wool hoodie and a blanket but I’m still ice-cold. It’s only autumn, winter is going to be terrible.
So how’s it going? Oh, it’s going…