Wanting to tell

For a while now, I have been thinking about sharing some stuff with my best friend.  I’m terrified.  We haven’t been friends for that long and the thought of her dismissing me is terrible.  I think I can trust her, I mean she hasn’t let me down so far, but people don’t handle certain bits of information well and I have trust issues.  So I keep thinking about how I can gauge her response before actually telling her.  I have run through a thousand scenarios in my head and I think that has made me even more terrified.  I don’t know if she will be supportive or disgusted.  Plus there is the fact that she knows my parents and likes them.  There is no way in hell that I want them to find out about any of it.  I just want to tell her about the ED, or at least tell her that I wish I could explain why I don’t eat so many things.  I worry that it will break us apart and since we see each other every day, that might make it awkward.

Does anyone have any advice?  Maybe if enough people read this, then someone out there will have some words of wisdom beyond “don’t be scared, if she cares about you she will stick by you.”  As if that really helps.  You are basically saying that it shouldn’t matter if she doesn’t stick by me because that means she wasn’t really a friend and I, yet again, misjudged a person.  Some lasting advice, or maybe a story from someone who has done this before, would help.


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