It has occurred to me that I enjoy being controlled. My controlling mother has dictated every moment of my life. Her controlling ways led me to Ana, who has since controlled every moment of my life. When my mother decided to take a step back, albeit a small one, Ana took the lead. But now Ana has taken a step back and I am lost. I feel like this should mean I am normal again, but without the constant harassment, I am completely lost and terrified. Clearly I enjoy being controlled. Why else would I miss the hurtful words, jabs, and cutthroat comments?
I could go into more detail about my enjoying being controlled, but I think not.
Does anyone else feel like this?