My newest nightmare

In the long line of terrible things in my life, comes the newest nightmare.  About a week ago, I invited someone to my home for some fun.  While I was getting high, I noticed that this person was not, despite appearing to smoke.  At some point in the evening, the entire world went numb and hazy.  I was there, mostly aware of my surroundings but unable to resist in any way.  I recall being extremely sleepy, to the point that I was awake but my eyes were closed.  I couldn’t keep them open.  I was extremely lethargic and felt incredibly drunk.  Except I had not had a single drink.  Bits and pieces flash into my memory.  I recall time passing but I was unaware of how much had passed.  I was dizzy, so dizzy that sitting up made the room spin violently.  Some time later I became very nauseated and had to fight the urge to throw up for several hours.  Following this, I slept for about 10 solid hours.

I remember some of what happened during this time, but the missing parts scare me.  I know I had sex.  I also know that I invited the person over for that purpose.  I have no evidence that anything illegal took place.  I don’t even know if I was drugged.  What I do know is that I have been unable to recreate this feeling using only pot.  So was I drugged? I don’t know.  I’ll never know for certain bc I dumped every open bottle in my kitchen and spent half an hour showering.

What I do know is that every time I pull up to my home, I pray to God that he isn’t sitting in the parking lot waiting.  Every time I open the door to leave, I worry that he will be on the other side.  Every sound I hear at night is him coming back.

Am I making a huge deal out of nothing, probably.


If any of this sounds familiar to anyone, please send me a message.



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