Started the Crazy Skinny Girl Diet today

So I started the crazy skinny girl diet.  I did fabulous—I ate over 1000 calories and purged at least once!  Yay me.  I just can’t seem to get back on track.  All I can think about is eating and then when I do I want to purge.  But once I’ve purged, I immediately want to eat again.  God, its horrible.  All I can think about is how I will never be thin and beautiful.  Like there is no hope, no chance, of that ever happening.  Naturally this line of thought depresses me more.  I just want to cry and have someone hold me.  It will never be better, I know it won’t.  I tell myself tomorrow will be better, but I just don’t really believe that.

Spent last night seriously drunk, however.  Had about 550 mL of vodka in about 2 hours.  In case you were wondering, that’s almost an entire bottle, on my own.  I actually lost my pants at one point.  Oh and I drunk texted my little sister.  The texts were so funny that I screen shot them to save for memories.  Not my finest moment.  On the bright side, I giggle A LOT when I am that drunk.  I ate a ton of skittles, too.  Like, skittles were my life right then.  May be the most fun I’ve ever had, EVER.  It was also the first time I have ever been that drunk!  I hold my liquor REALLY well so it took the bottle and an empty stomach to hit that level.  I also woke up today with no headache.  Another yay for me.  Evidently hangovers are not an issue for me.  I’m so proud of myself for just saying fuck it and getting myself trashed all by my lonesome.  I should do that more often.

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