I realized today the next fast in the ABC Diet is the Day 50 fast. I can’t believe I made it this far. I feel proud. But I also feel sad because now I need to come up with a new plan for after or I will just eat everything in sight.
Today was not so bad, actually. I ate 301 calories, given 500 for the day. Unfortunately, when I have a day that I don’t get trapped in my mind, I want to binge. Like the illness doesn’t exist and I can just eat until I’m full. Maybe that doesn’t make any sense. Um, an ‘up’ day makes me feel free of the pain. Yeah, that’s what I’m trying to say.
My family went out to dinner, I did great. But when I went to pay the bill, I just couldn’t get my head to do math, so I asked the cashier to calculate the total with the tip included. I felt like a moron. I am great at mental math. Lately, though, words get lost in my head and math is hard. I can’t remember shit. Except the name of the cute guy at the gym. That I remember (I never remember names!).
Now sitting here looking at forums on MPA, particularly the one about gross foods that actually exist, all of which look nasty AF, makes me want to raid the fridge. Binge on some tofu and vegetables. Not going to happen because I’m going to the gym. Going to look at Chris and pretend he gives a flying fig about my fat ass.
As a side note, some of those foods on the gross list may end up as a page on here.